A word out of silence

Two years ago this author proclaimed that this blog was being revived. A couple articles were written and Tim noticed that he had repeated what he had shared in previous article and once again the blog went silent. The other factor that was discouraging was the realization that any images used related to articles need to be original or public domain.  Today, as thoughts and prayers occur for friends and loved ones, the need to start writing here again became overwhelming.  Yet, also an odd time for the potential revitalization of this blog.  The New Year is bringing an unanticipated new directions as a Doctoral in Counseling program came into awareness and will be embarked on. So why the prompting to restart writing. Earlier this year, my wife even asked me why I don’t write for the blog anymore. I really didn’t have an answer. More then likely, it was letting elements of self get in the way, so while there was a part of me that sought to re-engage, the part of self that disengages became stronger. So why now?  Well, there is so much going on in this world that impacts believers. There are struggles real to many. There are thoughts that God has brought to my find that others may benefit from reading as I continue to grow.  Please pray that I stick with the plan for renewed writing. So, for now, this blog is no longer silent and may words flow here that build you up in God’s peace.

Resurrecting this Blog

Well it has been nearly a year since I have posted on the blog and prior to not posting there have been many stops and starts.  The complete lack of posting was in part sorting out if posting here was more about me or about following God.  There was a particularly sharp comment posted somewhere that suggested that the posting and blog was about my ego.  This in turn led to silene as I had recognized plenty of comparisons going on in my mind.  However, there have been many thoughst and comments that posting thoughts and such would be appropriate.  At the beginning of the year I did feel God was telling me to return to blogging and posting thoughts, however, I did not immediately do so.  Part of the reason for the disengagement comes from a struggling with balancing sharing my thoughts and views with my profession. As a mental health professional there needs to be some restraint and refinement in focus.  For the purpose of this blog is to give voice about the things God puts on my heart and mind and to share it so that some may touched. The words are sewing seeds and using what God has given me versus sitting back in my own world and doing whatever feels best to me.  I think the problem is that I did get caught up in my world and the concerns there in and got distracted from writing the things God was stirring otherwise.  So, now the goal is to get back to writing and with the intent and focus to reflect back to God.   It is time to speak forth what God spurs in submission and fellowship.  It is time for this blog to be renewaled and hopefully people find a place of peace, depth, and reflection that is challenging of growth.

Personal musing: What is going on? Way too much silence!

Yes, I have been quiet. I even neglected to write what would have been important blogs during important times such as my birthday, independence day, father’s day and other moments where I certainly have had thoughts pondering and percolating.  Yet, I have failed and not lived up to this commitment. It is something God has called me to do but I have let self get in the way. For there is always a reason not to write something. It is too late, I am too tired.  Things have kinda spiralled a little down for me since April. Now a lot of the focus was on prayer for Freedom house and there battles. Yet, as that battle went on and things started moving forward in some directions the energy and ability to push through from me was lacking.   Certainly at some point inertia sets in and trouble with motivation. So it may be that slipped into doing just a enough.  It also may be that writing opens me up to others in terms of my thoughts and ideas. There may be factors that were not directly at top of my mind that end up impacting mood and energy. I know something is not quite lined up as it should. I may be learning and discovering what that may be on the surface and the other issues God is working with me on.  So to all those who read and follow and have any care of what I have to say and share I apologize.  I do know I have pains and wounds of some sort that will need healing as when I examine self the pain is there.  So know this I am hurting for reasons not entirely know. The hurts have led to silence. The hurt leads to growth. And strangely it is my giving speech at church which I have yet to publish on the blog that really was a beginning. I promise to get that posted this week. I hope have not lost all who have followed. I know it is hard when you read others thoughts, they go silent and sometimes never return to writing. Well I have been silent but not gone. Do pray for me and for healing as I in turn work to help others in their process.

#wcaacc Day Three: Stirrings Energerize to Move from the Silent Waiting

 

Day Three at the American Association of Counselors World Conference was one that was for me a very important day and a day where God was moving in my heart and mind with stirring still being defined. The day for me started with being in a quiet reflective state. The state in part feels like where been at for the past year. During the morning session John Ortberg spoke and he talked about the “Saturday” which is really the time between crisis and resurrection. It is a time of silence where one can only wait. For me this feels like where my life has been at in the past year. I left the National Conference feeling refreshed quickly settled into a time of silence as ended up feeling stuck. No matter how often looked to restart it remained.

 

After that period timed moved to a focus really on the brokenness that exists in life. Going back to the fallen state of man who moved from full access of God’s glory into the fallen state where we now experience shame and fear. We live in a world where people are hurting and hurt. Emerson Emmerich and Wes Stafford bu Emerson in his work and bringing healing and restoration to marriages and Wes Stafford in reaching children throughout the world. In their periods of pain and silence they were activated by their faith and obeyed t shared parts of there stories of pain that God used to shape their call and direction. God and walked the path God laid before them. God activated who they were with faith. So while there was great pain, there was the restorative power of God to draw out who He made them to be. Now during the point of focus on the brokenness, including being overwhelmed with the empathetic response to pain for me the point of saturation was reached. It seemed that I was reaching my limit.

 

Then the final track and training of the day came. Mitchell Elliot spoke on a Christian perspective on emotion. He discussed thought processes regarding emotions from a biblical frame of reference. What God stirred in me was not so much related to the content, but a stirring of energy and a deep longing of moving ahead and seeing the hope and light that God clearly is at work and stirring things within others in similar but different ways than me. God confirmed this further during a mixer with the Society of Christian Psychology division of the American Association of Christian Counseling.

 

Summing up the days experience and stirrings the theme seemed to be that God works in the silence and pain and moves in the direction that is in alignment with His will and plan. He will bring into paths and ways in alignment with who He created us to be and what He does in our life. Taking steps to trust and obey move from periods of silent waiting into the empowered advance. It happens in but a moment. It happens in faith and obedience, and it happens in engagement with others. And God moves in a way always consistent with His design. For me God’s design is one of a person who bring honor to God and is used to bring people to peace and wholeness as God grows me in knowledge, understanding, discernment, and wisdom. There is no doubt in my mind that the seeds have been planted and soil tilled for what lies ahead.

Personal Musing: Renewing voice out of silence.

Yes, I have been silent.  Silent for far to long.  I know there are others in other places who have gone quieter of late.  The question really is where is this silent coming from. Am I shrinking back, am I resting, or have I been simply stuck.   Perhaps it is looking at the tasks ahead, the responsibilities, the difficulties and losing perspective. Perhaps there is some needed rest to take on what lies ahead.  For what is ahead in not easy.  There are more responsibilities ahead.  There is need to buckle down and proceed ahead.  The question though is really have I gone from a point of resting to build up and move ahead to the disengagement of sleep.  There will be blog articles soon musing on rest, sleep, and slumber.  But as for me right now, today, where am I.  I am not where I meant to be.  I had many plans of what I was going to do.  I was going to get started on book writing. I was going to get private practice from being in a holding pattern to sewing seeds toward moving forward.  Now, in all this pulling back, there has been some forward movement. My client load at the clinic picked up strength and near a full load.  Another question is am I walking in faith and under God’s authority in His Kingdom, or am I letting others have authority. 

I need to dwell more on what it means when I go silent.  For there is no shortage of words could have written and it is a loss that certain things I had in mind, such as musing on love over Valentines day did not happen. And that is not write.  So why am I shrinking back.  I could say I am just being at rest, but in retrospect what may have started with rest may have progressed to the point of slumber. I need to write and explore those areas more.  The other is what responsibility means to me.  There is a lot of reluctance with me tied to responsiblity.  There is too much not getting to things until it is necessary. There are many other things.  

So the point is, if I have reached a point of slumber, of that is which is beyond helpful and necessary to that which impedes, then I need to wake up, rise up, and go forward. For the times we are in call for us to be alert, sound, and engaged. Please forgive me for the disengagement.  While I can justify it with many things related to life, it is not following what God has asked of me.  And I think God is making me aware that If I don’t follow through with the things he sets before me, I can miss out and will weep over what could have been.  So how about the rest of you?  Anyone shrink back, pull back, go silent, go from rest to sleep or slumber?  For no matter where we are, God is there to give us what we  need.  I feel lack of strength, lack of motivation.  I feel like I am near a point of taking on too much or even pulling myself in multiple directions. But for what God calls me to, there will be enough, it is all in His time, if I follow. If I lag, or falter, or hold back I can miss. And if I react out of self even doing what I think what God wants but of own accord, it will cost me dearly.  At any rate, here are the tasks I need to commit to.  Please do drop me emails, pm’s or words to see progress. Here is one thing I know, it is helpful to set measurable objectives and review progress.  Treatment plans in counseling are all about measurable objectives.  Things can move forward toward. 

1.  Renew daily time in God’s word and prayer.

2.  Blog at least once per week.

3.  Spend time on private practice website at least once a week until finished.

4. Get started writing project by working at least once per week.

Things I need to complete within the next week are taxes and liability insurance.

At any rate, the time has come to wake up, renew voice, and start moving, a bit at a time.  Please check on me and see where I am and how I am doing. As one of the big things that is true, is that I know I need to support and encouragement of others.  As much as God has me stepping into messes and being concerned for others, he has not made me or anyone else capable to so doing without others around us.  Also please let me know how I can support you, be it here, be it in email, be it at a forum, be it in person at church. Please let me know what I can do.

About recent blog silence.

My apologies for lack of new content on the blog. Still have a long list of articles to write and content to generate.  Development of the website portal is going slowly as well.  The forum is active but recently my contributions have been also reduced.

When I reflect on reasons for my decreased writing and increased silence, it is a matter of getting overwhelmed and needing rest.  Some significant stressors have hit including having a car engine damaged as well as communicating with a friend in a way that came off as hurtful.  Also in thinking about where I am and what is going on with me, there is some mildly depressed mood which can be connected to the high stress levels that have been occurring. 

Now, sometimes silence can be a good thing, a time of reflection or a time of recharging.  However, times of silence as well can be simply a time of withdraw and shrinking back.  I know I have a tendency to shrink back when under higher levels of stress. So my apologies on the decreased articles and slow pace of website development.  Please keep me in your prayers both in terms of being able to rejoice in stress and for strength to not shrink back from that which God directs me.

So my apologies for only having two article during the last month, it is well behind what I feel led to write and can use ongoing prayer and support. I fear I let the enemy get the better of me and pulled back.