Update from the depths of silence

Hello strangers, at least that should be what it seems like.  I am not promising resurrection of this blog site by showing up and writing. I have been there and done that with the best of intentions. Rather, I just need to write given where I am in life.

When I stopped writing for this blog several years ago now, I felt my last articles were repeating things I said before, so I let this slide.  I am now graduating into a new place in life and it is scary.  I do have things to say, stories to tell, words to give voice. Yet, honestly, I have a major project to complete this year, a doctoral dissertation for a Doctor of Counseling degree program. So I will be writing, but not personal or reflective or any other such element.

This year I anticipate God will be moving to build upon what he established in me. I see the coming year ahead to be one of growth.  Yet, as I write this, I know my mother lies dying. I hate this fact.  I hate seeing the look of death, it is horrid. Much different than the look of life I have observed in women about to give birth, a look where life is brimming and expansive. No, the look of death is the withdrawal of life, and awful constriction and fading of the spirit. My mother is soon to shed the mortal coil. She will not get to witness, in this life, the growth that is to come, with the hopes and dreams and accomplishments yet to occur.  She will not be physically there. Yet, she played a large role in the man I am today and the people I reach out to help. But today, I grieve. In that grief, I have come speaking out of the nether regions of silence that this place has become. I have no idea who will read this, friends, families, strangers. Yet, know God has his perfect timing in all these things. I am facing a time of mourning. A time to weep as my mother faces her time to die. I have no words to ponder or reflect on as I face this pain.  I am essentially giving voice into the expanse pronouncing my pain and grief. My mom is dying and it hurts!