Personal Musing: Ten years ago July 17, 2010

Ten years ago today, July 17th, I married my wife. It was a small ceremony at the Chapel of Love at Mall of America. We had a big wedding in Brazil the following January. The wedding was for me an apex moment and culmination of growth and healing that occurred in the many years since. A lot has come and gone since that wonderful day ten years ago. One thing is certain, that through it all I still love my wife deeply and consider her a gift. The worst moments of the past ten years ultimately have drawn me closer to God and a deeper awareness of His love. There is no doubt in my mind that God brought us together.

Looking back on my life and not getting married until thirty-five. Not even dating. There were reasons behind my not dating. One reason was a distrust for women that stretches back to ways been treated by girls growing up and other distorted views. There was a lot of fear and anxiety and a lot of untruthful negative perspectives about women. And for what was not untrue, a recognition that for whatever hurt and pain and uncertainty that can come into play, that God has great reward for entering into the relationship.

Yet, in that anxiety there were certainly moments that could have asked a woman out and perhaps even fostered a relationship. However, there was always a part of how God created me that would just “know” that a relationship would not be right. Now perhaps it was fears talking, because I was absolutely shy and clueless. Perhaps there were things lost out because settled for unacted on infatuations and fantasies of the mind. Regardless, at some level, choices made were not just of fear, but a deep knowledge that something would not be right.

With my wife, I know God brought me and Liz together for His reasons and purposes. See there was no question upon the first phone conversation in my mind where things ultimately were headed. I just knew where the relationship would end up and followed it through to the point of taking significant risks, such has meeting her sight unseen.

One of the amazing things and difficult things is God did bring us together as complementary but opposites. She is strong in areas I am weak and vice versa. She is emotional and passionate. I am easy going. She is detail oriented, I am adaptable. No there are ways that we are alike with strong empathy and compassion for others.

So today, as July 17th has started, I am filled with love and gratitude and thank God for the blessings, for even the hard times and the pain. For in all this, God refines us and draws us closer to Him. So today I praise God for my wife and ask for her to be lifted up in prayer, as she continues to endure trials that leave me agonizing to stand in support. The trials do not present any serious long term harm, just ongoing difficulties that are difficult to endure, with no answer or end in sight.


3 Responses

  1. Happy Anniversary Tim and Liz. What a beautiful testimony. I lifted this quote to point up, because you are actually describing a paradox of marriages that is a source of deep perfection and deep conflict:

    “One of the amazing things and difficult things is God did bring us together as complementary but opposites. She is strong in areas I am weak and vice versa.”

    That is exactly what God intends when He matches a pair, but all often, couples focus on the other person’s lack, and not understanding the necessity of completion in one another, split up. It is often most difficult for the stronger person, which I discovered to my despair, as I have never replaced the last man I loved, and its been 22 years now. I have never had such completion in anyone else, and I guess I never will… One of my nieces made the same mistake, with very similar consequences, and her X remarried, closing the door behind her forever.

    I perceive a deep meaning in your exclusive choice of Liz, and personally, I don’t think you made the slightest mistake, nor misses someone who might have been easier to get along with or something. I think you are in quite normal marriage tension, which absolutely every long-term married couple knows all too well, and you need only hang in there and continue to pray. As I have recently discovered myself, just because the hoped-for answer to prayer is taking longer than seemed probable, doesn’t mean its not coming at all.

    Peace be with you both in Jesus Christ forevermore, Amen

  2. Just picked this up and want to add “God Bless you Tim & Liz, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY”.

    Meg’s healthy and Christlike assessment could not have been more accurate, I have nothing to add except…..”LORD PLEASE BLESS THIS LOVING COUPLE

  3. I’m just reading this so happy belated aniversary! I can not believe it has been ten years already! Wow! Time flies doesn’t it. I’m touched reading your testimony and so grateful that God brought the two of you together and that he has allowed you both to be a blessing in my life. Love & Prayers, Elizabeth

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