Reflections on Brennan Manning: A Teacher of God’s Love and Grace

Today 4/13/2013 news that Brennan Manning left this life on 4/12/2013. He was a man of God, a disciple who now has moved on. Yet, he was a teacher of much controversy. The top of the controversy was that he taught “contemplative prayer” with use of things like emptying thoughts and repeating words. This controversy exists and is out there, yet, I have no question that in He was a true follower of Jesus the Messiah. His teaching and from what I understand even his life was fractured and flawed. He knew fully what it was to experience God’s grace. Yet, he is really know different than any other disciple of Jesus. He tought things wrong, he did things wrong, he was flawed. Yet, he knew what it was to be loved by God. He was a teacher and preacher of God’s love. His messages focused on deepening the understanding of God and His love. This is true for me.
I heard Brennan Manning speak at Church of the Open Door in Minnesota two or maybe three times. When he spoke his words and presence displayed and shown the love of God. His words touched to the very core. I do not remember his words or his teaching at that time. I do know what he taught and spoke of on those days changed me. He gave words that brought closer awareness to the love of God. He taught in such a way that got beyond the fractured images I had of God the Father and God used to touch hurt and pain and let God’s love in. God used this man. And for that I am grateful. He served and was used by God and he touch my life and many others. There are a great many quotes out there that demonstrate the truth he taught. It is important to note in God’s economy the words of Love and truth have far greater impact than the things we speak that are flawed, dangerous, or destructive. Truth and love always have greater effect. In closing this article I am posting some Brennan Manning quotes that demonstrate the Truth and Love that he taught that impacted so many.

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.”

“In every encounter we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.”

“God is love. In human beings, love is a quality, a high-prized virtue; in God, love is His identity.“

“God loves you unconditionally, as you are and not as you should be, because nobody is as they should be.”

“My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ, & I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.”

“Christianity was not some moral code; it was a love affair, & I experienced it first hand.”

“If we conceal our wounds out of fear & shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”

Love is all we need

Love. It is a simple word. It signifies something we all so desperately want but it is also so very lacking.  Love is the most talked about subject within our culture and everything point to a significant relationship and subsequent children as the apex of love.  Yet, ultimately none of us get it. We fail to grasp love.  We all wanted be care for and are hurt when we are not.  We all desperately want to be loved and to love. It is at the core of humanity. It is why we take on pets for example, to love and be loved.

 Yet, ultimately we fail to grasp love and are really far from it. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves provides a definition of love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Our experience of love falls far of that definition.  Here is the reason. The definition involves no focus on self. It is looking outward toward the welfare of others. The essence of love is found in Philippians 2:3 (ESV) ³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.   When we love we are emptying of self. We are giving of self. We are focused on the welfare not of self, but of others.  However, we are ever self-focused.

We are wrapped up in our perception of being loved and are quick to voice when we are not engaged in behavior that is perceived as caring or loving. When we get upset, we do so when someone else has failed to engage in looking out for our welfare and did or said something we find lacking.   Such a response is even followed suit in understanding and rejecting God.  Many who reject God look at pain and suffering in the world and their own lives and conclude that a loving God could not allow such.  So they reject God. Some in that rejection will push simply engaging in looking out for the welfare of others.  The refrain is “all we need is love.” Simply look out for others and make the best world today.  Yet, lost in it all is the day to day agony when that desire of love falters.

 The fact is God does look out for our welfare. He never fails.  The rest of us fall far short.  So, yes we all need love, and love is what we all need, but if you separate that love from the author  and source of love it is but illusion. God is the only one who provides full care and love. Yes, the love does provide limits and structures, not out of cruelty, but in understanding what we need and what hurts us. We see that every day with parents and children, choices made and limits set for their welfare often in spite of great protest. Sure, any one of us can demonstrate love to others. We can do good too others apart from God. We can make the best out of life. Yet, it is making the best of what we can. But that falls far short of a life submitted to God, the source and author of love. And none of us have a grasp on God’s love. Our understanding is limited.  Yet, as you grow in understanding God, love grow. Love for God, self, and others. It comes as you grow and as you understand and grow the wounds and hurts from the damages of living life heal and allow true forward movement that in turn demonstrates the care for others found in demonstrating true love. We need love. We need God. You cannot separate the two for God is love.  So yes, all we need is love and that need is only found in God, who is love. So God is what we all need, for God is love.

Resurrection Sunday Musing: God’s love shown in power demands response

Today, April 8^th, 2012 was Resurrection Sunday, more commonly known as Easter Sunday. It is a central day to the Christian faith for it is the day we recognize the power of God. On Friday the focus is death, pain, and loss and the act of one in obedience in love meeting the demands of justice. One act engaged in to impact all of creation, making things right. However, that one act would be meaningless without what happened two days later. A tomb was found empty, death was overcome, and Jesus was alive. He rose again. Death meant nothing. God showed His power as his plan played out. A way was made. See God, up to that point could not interact face to face with mankind, for doing so he faced the twisting and distortion of His creation. He saw that which is good corrupted. Can you imagine looking at what you created and seeing the flaws? Knowing that there was much better that could have been in store. He real would be unbearable. So God did not just accept the corruption. He did not just wipe us all out. Sure, with a simple word, God could make all right. He could undo the curse and make everything as it should with a word. He could end pain and suffering in but a moment. No, he had a plan, one that would demonstrate His love and power. God made a way, so that which was corrupted can approach God’s thrown and interact with Him day to day. He had wanted Israel to hear his voice and listen, and they declined that option. Now, we have God with us, the Holy Spirit in residence when we turn to God in surrender. God’s plan is one that teaches and demonstrates His love and goodness. It allows us to learn and grow. It forces us to move one direction or another. God’s power demands response and action. One cannot be silent about something so powerful. One can accept what happened and submit for look for other explanations. See, there were stories and alternatives presented at the very beginning. For what God made a way. God did and what happened with the empty tomb throws everything in chaos. It forces a choice. Some say that incredible claims demand incredible evidence. There has never been any more incredible evidence than the empty tomb and lives changed, Lives standing for what happened through pain, death, and torture. Lives were changed and uprooted. Yet, people still just cannot believe, for it demand a choice an giving up of self and what one hold dear. God showed His Love and Power. The world changed that day and while the curse is still playing out every day God has a plan to make all things right, in due time. So while we await that great and powerful day, we live each day growing, learning, and enduring life amidst the curse. Yet, we do so knowing God’s love is amazing and we only get but a glimpse, yet each glimpse contains the fullness of God’s love and power impacting each of us day by day.

#wcaacc Final conference day summary: Moving beyond barriers toward what is ahead.

 

The final day of American Association of Christian Counselors was a day filled of the moving of the Holy Spirit. God move in fitting manners in stirring my heart and mind. Now there were a variety of topics and angles presented during the course of the day yet for me there was a general theme. The theme was about moving ahead admits barriers into what God has ahead. Whatever the barrier, the answer is the same, surrender to God and move ahead. The moving ahead demands wisdom and discernment with faith and obedience. Sure there are barriers that are outside of self and externally caused. There are definitely internal barriers as well. Yet, God has provides the way and strength to move ahead. Past the sin, past the resistance, past the anger, and past the hurts into a broader experience of Him. It involves an opens and awakening. It comes from surrender. Only when responsibly follow God’s lead can there truly be forward movement into what God is shaping. And while there are plans and desires, God shapes all. His promises are sure. He does require trust and obedience. It requires release of idols and examination of self. But God will move and is faithful, but His moves may not be at all what is expected but always lead to greater growth and more than mere expectations. So no it is the time of moving ahead. God’s work in me and my emotive state is one of heaviness and examination but one of hope and celebration. For He is always faithful with His promises and is even know working in ways not fully grasp.

#wcaacc: Day Two summary thoughts: Changing perspectives lead to actions that can change perspectives

Day two at the World Conference of the American Association of Christian Counselors was a day the provided challenge. The key words for me were that of being engaging in changing perspectives. Now of course the questions is what is the meaning in those words and how does it related to what God stirred within me today. These thoughts are ongoing musings that are not so much about any specific teaching but a bringing the thoughts together into a perspective on what God is showing me today.

The thoughts are that each and everyone of us see things from a perspective. God has worked and operated in our life and reveal Himself to us. We have understanding. Yet, our understanding of God, mankind, self, and relationship is partial and limited. We all have growth needed in one way or another. Some growth and healing from hurt and pain. Some growth in moving into what God has called and helping others move into what God has called. God has given each of us gifts and perspective. Our eyes and ears, and hearts and minds God has opened to certain views. We need to grow in what God has given us and ask God to open our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds to a broader view.

We can easily settle for what we think we already know. We can have a knowledge that can even develop into pride and arrogance if we let it. God though has ways of shaping us in particular seasons. What God does one day and in one persons story is not necessarily the way it is for the next. God engages as He does in our lives. And while God does not change, the relationship varies in accordance with the individual not in relativistic or pliable way, but in a relational way in correspondence with how He designed us. He knows our individual design intimately and what we need for growth.

Now here is the deal, God interacts with us in a relational manner. He gives us His love. We reflect what God does in us. We take what He has done and reflect it to those around us. “We let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify God in heaven.” The reflection is a simple small light compared to the brightness of God’s glory. An encounter with God brings weight and the vision is never the same. And each of us, regardless of where we are have a response to the weight and brightness of God’s glory. There is no way we can grasp it all at once, so He gives us different and varied perspectives and lets us reflect. Each of our lives and actions are a story of revelation much like those who came before.

So, in reflecting what God has revealed we in turn touch others. For we have no other choice but to do so, because an encounter with God and his interacting with us in ways that are relationally true, there is no other response but to engage others in love and truth with what God is doing. For the Love of Christ, how he has touched us pulls us to in turn share with and engage others. In other words, we are compelled by Christ’s love. We engage in being who we are in line with what God has done and gifted. We then become salt and light, answering Gods call where we are. Not for the point of some great transforming of this temporary world, but to draw others toward a change in perspective about God to the point where they may yet choose to surrender self and become a member of God’s Kingdom. Yet, not just a member but an adopted child. Blessed only because of who God is, which gives us the opportunity to draw others toward there own encounter with the great, mighty, and heavy God of glory.

#wcaacc Conference Day One: Re-establishing Focus

 

Today the start of the World Conference for the American Association of Christian Counselors was a day that served as a good start. God already has been at work showing me, reminding me, and teaching me what I need to know today. My story and journey here is unique as it will be for the 7000 other counselors and ministers of varying forms. Each situation and story is different and what God has to teach at some levels is the same but for each individual it is different, for he created us each unique. For me today, the day was about renewed focus.

 

My day started with Dr. E. John Kuhnley with a training related to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. So the conference started for me with examining those who at a core have a disorder in focus. It was interesting that in the course of the training the comparison was made to vision loss and the nature of “corrective measures.”

 

The journey of the day continued with a training sponsored by the Society of Christian Psychologists about the Problem of Evil and Suffering in Christian Counseling. It was a time focusing on the essence of dealing with the suffering around us and those we encounter. The lecture and conversation centered on who God is and how we impact others. An awareness of God being beyond our grasp and when interacting with others, we are not about the answers but the coming along side to encourage healing and growth. The thoughts that stuck with me are related to being okay with the “I do not know” followed by having a grasp of the function of suffering and what happens when we do face the suffering of this fallen world. So in other words, we may never understand the meaning of what happens to us related to the pain and suffering we encounter in our lives and in the lives of those around us. We don’t have to understand. Ultimately suffering serves a purpose in each of our lives. Each story is unique and different and of the course we learn what there is to learn and grow deeper from knowledge to understanding. As we walk the path in thing enduring faith, God brings to further clarity at times His calling and path. Something that path is different than expectations as dreams shatter. Yet, God works, as He wills and works, in each life, for each story.

 

　

 

The day wrapped up with the opening plenary session. Before either Dr. Tim Clinton or Lois Palau spoke worship was lead by Charles Billingsly. He made a statement “The world is all of us. The only thing that separates us is the blood of the lamb.” Dr. Tim Clinton then spoke on the growing importance of faith and spirituality in counseling. He touched on Colossians 1:27 with emphasis on the last portion of the first “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” He went on to state “It’s personal. It is all about you and what God wants to do through you.” He then challenged each of us to ask God to do something special which may be a renewed calling, a being strengthen to fight, to simply do what matters before God.

 

For me the night ended with Lois Palau talking about the mysteries of union with God, the human condition, and communion with God. The emphasis was about God being with us, within us. That each day we need to start with our focus on God and Jesus in surrender. We need to abide in Him. One profound statement was “That along as God is in us, we are the power of God wherever we go.”

 

　

 

So in summing up my thoughts on this day. For me it was renewed focus. We each can easily lose focus. We can lose sight of the basics. We live in a fallen world and have a fallen sin nature. We are no different than anyone else. We are all in the same boat. The difference that exists, exists because of what God did in suffering for us. He suffered and died so that we may be made free and lived. This freedom is not to do what ever we determine but to enter into God’s Kingdom and follow His way. It is only in being aligned with God that we are whole. God moves in each of our lives in ways beyond our limited understand. We all have a a unique story. It in involves joy and sorrow. Yet, in that each of us have a path and calling. We are enabled to walk the path God puts before us because of His strength, for He is with us. Whatever we do, whatever steps we take, whatever moving forward, comes becomes of God in us. And this is the focus. Whether in plenty or want that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

 

Well those are my thoughts and summation for this first day of the conference and what God is doing. Take time to ask God to help your focus and see what He wants you to see. Accepted what you do not know and trust in God alone. For only in Him is there any strength.

#wcaacc: Prepartion thoughts- The Basics

The basics, two simple words that are often spoken with
disdain. We do not like thinking about the basics. Yet everything has a
foundation. There is no success for moving ahead without a focus on the
foundation.  It is the basics that serve
as the starting point.  It is easy to
lose track of basics and get too caught up in the subtle details that add to
the complexity. It always comes back to the basics.

For me today is a day of re-establishing the basics. Today
is a day to be grounded in who God is, who he made me to be, and how He wants
me to touch others. In this post want to just touch on a basic thought
regarding God, myself, and others.

The essential element here regarding the Basics of God is He
is my King and He is the creator. It is He who I serve.  I entered His Kingdom through the gate He
provided, Jesus. It is through Jesus that God is with me every day. It is by
accepting what God did and giving up of my self that enables me to be a member
of God’s Kingdom. The Kingdom is not of this world. At the basic level though I
serve God because what He did to set me free from my own selfish ways.

Regarding myself, it comes down to who God created me to
be.  At the heart, God made me one who is
able to touch others and help them be restored to what God created them to be.
My words, actions, and deeds are directed at building up into wholeness. The
only true wholeness is found in right relationship to the creator.  Now there is still work to be done in my life
to be more in line with who God created me to be. I have sins, hurts, fears,
and failures that keep more from being wholly at peace. Straying from God’s path
or embracing that which distracts happens all too easy.  At the basic level, as a Man of God, a member
of His Kingdom. He calls me to walk in ways bringing Him honor through engaging
in trusting and obeying . He calls me to worship in spirit and truth. He calls
me to work out my salvation and be awake and alert as walk in endurance the
path before me.  That path involves
bringing others to His peace.  At the
basic core I am a man who honors God and walks a path that brings others to
peace.

Finally, my thought go to the basics about others.
Everywhere there are people hurting. Each person has areas that they are not
whole.  We all need walking in greater
surrender. Each person around us needs a touch of God’s love. We all live in the
twisted and fallen world with the consequences of sin. We all have been hurt
and all hurt others.  We live in a twist,
broken, and fallen world.  Everyone needs
love.  Each of us also readily fall prey
to pride, unbelief, and selfishness.  We
each readily embrace the lust of flesh, lust of eyes, and pride of life.  And sadly, at the basic level, most will be
unwilling to surrender to God. Most will stay locked in darkness. Yet, even
with that fact, our encounters with others need to treat them as someone that is
redeemable. Someone that can be found. For each of us has no idea what word or
deed will impact another to set them free toward the path of wholeness. It is
God who knows the end, our responsibility is to love others. Everyone needs a
touch of God’s love. Our walk each day needs to be centered on that thought.
How is what I am doing demonstrating love.

In closing, take time to think, remember, and reflect on the
basics.  What is God in your life and who
is He. What does He want you to know and remember today. Then think about who
God created you to be.  Are you walking
the path or strayed. What is getting in the way?  Are you too caught up in examining the areas
of depth that forget to stay true to the basics?   After those thoughts then take time to think
about your interactions with others.  Am
I filled with anger and upset with others who wrong me?  Am I focused on the pain cause by others that
I forget the good?  Am I loving others in
word and deed. Am I interacting with others with love and truth?   Take time to reflect on those questions or
any other that God brings to mind. Or just simply ask God to show you what
basics you need to review and renew awareness of in your life.  Taking time to do so will in turn bring you
perspective that will bring you in align with God’s path of wholeness in your
life. Take these steps, and then rejoice and celebrate for in this is the way
of God’s peace.

Rosh Hashanah: Celebration, Rememberance, and Renewal

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Feast of Trumpets, also known as
the Day of Remembrance. It is the Jewish New Year.  The greeting for the day  was “may you be inscribed for a good year. A
good website for basic information on the Holiday if found at this website: http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Holidays/Fall_Holidays/Rosh_Hashannah/rosh_hashannah.html.

The article has two areas that bring thoughts to me find.
First is the thoughts of remembrance. It is a time to remember who God is and
what he has done.  Two aspects of God are
central for remembering today. It is that of God as creator. Today is thought
of as one that goes back to the “first day.” So, it is a day to reflect on what
God did in creating the world and us.
The second aspect of God to contemplate is that as God as King. Today is
also thought of as a coronation day. It is a day to think of the coming actions
of the King. It is a time to start reflecting on repentance and judgment. It is
the start of the King doing what he does to make things right.

One of the parts of Rosh Hashanah is the blowing of the
trumpets. The shofar is blown over about a 100 times on that day. The is a
combination of four types of trumpet blows. One type of blast signifies the
King’s coronation. One blast type announces a focus on repentance. A third is
about an awakening of the soul. The fourth time is a long blast that goes until
you cannot blow anymore.

These trumpet blow types signify to me a perspective that
goes well together. We start with God as King. We need to recognize and identity
and submit to what we need to change to be in line with the King’s will and
directive.  We need the basic elements of
who we are before God awakened and revived.  A blast of alarm is what does awaken each of
us if we hear it.  And finally there is a
giving all of self until reach the end of self: a total submission.

It is worth noting that all these elements are what today is
about. It is a time of rest, renewal, and celebration. It is a focus on God and
self. A time of renewing proper alignment and embark on what and he has ahead for
the New Year. So take time today to learn, reflect, and examine. Let God show
you what to remember and what to move forward into change. Celebrate God. Remember Him and His work in your life. Change course from where you left His will and be awakened to what He is directing and calling. For Today is the day. Celebrate. Repent. Awaken. These are the words for today. In this is found renewal.

Personal Musing: When good friends move away

People in our life come and go, everything has a time and a season. Sometimes there are times of parting as people go on to their next phase in life. In the past I have had good college friends move on in their life and we still connect or touch base every once and awhile but those relationships are changed, never what they were.  Today, the person who I consider my best friend is moving far away. It is a good thing for him, time to move on, move ahead, and move forward.  Now granted since we have both gotten married we have spent less and less time doing stuff together as we focus on life together, but we were always a phone call away and there was always time to get together as needed. Now he is moving to Oregon, a place a long, long way away. No more getting together to watch a football game or just hang out and talk, that time and season has come to a close. Yet, no matter what the distance he will always be like a brother to me which is interesting because my biological brother lives on the East coast, and he will live now out on the West coast.  

 

The fact is relationships time, people serve their intent and purpose for a season. Some seasons are long, some short.  Some relationships endure but change, others just end. There are many people who have come into my life and left that have no contact with, some cannot even recall their names to look up on Facebook or elsewhere if they were even there. However, that does not diminish at all the value of that relationship.  Some people we let in to the deep stuff others just kept to surface, but the people we come across we touch and they touch us in some manner. 

 

The thing is to be thankful and grateful for the people who come and go and what they give you and you give them.  For each relationship is precious. For those that have been true friends in my life thank you for what you have given me and I have given to you.  So today, a parting as my best friend leaves for Oregon. The question then becomes what is next as move ahead and what the next season brings. The important thing is to stay open and engaged and be willing to move beyond self and connect. For there are blessings for self and others in doing and where God’s love is demonstrated, others are drawn to Him.

Musings on the Responsibilities of Fathers

Today, Sunday June 19^th, 2011 is the day in the American culture set aside to give Honor to Fathers. We take time to let our Father’s know we care about the impact they have had in our lives. Perhaps we even take time even reflecting on what they have done in our life. The fact is that being a Father is a tremendous God-given responsibility. A Father plays a vital role in the development of children. Each Father is a reflection to their children of God the Father. And each Father ultimately falls short of measuring up to the full responsibilities. Some fail to measure up intentionally committing great evils, some are absent or neglectful, and others simply stumble; but all falter. Yet, it is important to note that what Fathers do and are responsible for is vital and weighty. In thinking about the responsibilities of Fathers there are four essential responsibilities that come to mind: Authority, Provision, Protection, and Education. There are probably other words that can be added but these four seem to be at the core. Lets briefly look at each.

A Father is to be the authority of the home. As such, a Father provides two elements of authority: leadership and discipline. A father is to be the final say, the one to set the course, provide the vision for the family. He is to consider what is good for each and every member of the family and is responsible to make decisions for the welfare of all. He also is to be the final authority, the one who establishes the boundaries and the consequences. Most of us have heard uttered either in our own families or in forms of cultural entertainment the statement “Just wait till your dad gets home.” A Fathers responsibility really starts with the provision of authority. Sometimes the things we get upset with our Fathers over are the ways we do not like how our Father operated in this responsibility but if we examine it from the view of the weight of responsibility thoughts can change from how our Fathers failed to measure up, to how they attempted to attend to the responsibility of authority.

A Father is the provider for the family. He is the one ultimately responsible to see to it that the needs are met of all in the family. Being the provider goes toward seeing that what is necessary is always address and what is desired at times can be provided, and when not able to be provided, explaining the lack. Sometimes as children we can get our wants and desire confused with what is necessary. We can also disagree with how what was necessary was provided. In general, most Fathers do their best with what they knew how to do to be a provider. Being responsible for the wholeness and well being of all in family is a immense responsibility.

A Father is also the source of protection in a family. He is the one who is to address and deal with any potential threats. Being a protector goes hand in hand with being a provider but is different. A Father needs to be alert for the dangers that could come. They are responsible to know the strengths and weaknesses of self and every member of their family. They are responsible to see to the safety of each family member physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Given that each one of us are created in very unique this responsibility is a unique challenge. The other part of the responsibility is when harm comes, to be able to encourage and build up those in family from the wounds of life and cope with the suffering. This responsibility is very tough and it is very easy to misunderstand or not even depths of what can happen in each family member’s life.

A Father is also responsible to provide education. A Father is responsible for building up all in their family and helping them grow. As such, a Father takes time to understand where their children are at and help them develop. This responsibility also requires a great deal of patience and understanding. It is an area where one can easily fall short, missing the way that best matches each individual. Each Father works at educating and easily falter, as no matter how wise the father, it is easy to miss the most effective way to pass on what needs to be taught and easily frustrated when the lessons go unlearned.

Now, here is the amazing thing. God the Father, perfectly meets each responsibility in our life. We may not always perceive that truth as we often have our views obscured by our perceptions of our earthly Father’s weaknesses. No matter what we lacked in our earthly Fathers, the Heavenly Father lives up to all Fatherly responsibilities perfectly. We may not always grasp, for God interacts with us for what is best for us individually. It may not always match, but He knows up perfectly, for He created us. Our earthly Fathers learn as they go, trying to do things differently than their Dad did and falling short in their own unique ways but most trying to live up to responsibilities in an honorable way. And those that do not try, there will be Justice, for our Heavenly father will see to that in perfectly demonstrating love and matching each responsibility perfectly.